Week 3 Topic: Remember that cupcake physical education course you took at the University of Minnesota in your final semester: The Attitudes and Thoughts of the Contemporary Sports Fan in Minnesota? After an audit of the University of Minnesota's records, it turns out that you didn't complete your last term paper for the class and thus never completed all the requirements for your degree. The U of M forwarded the results of the audit to your employer. Your boss is pissed and requests that you complete the paper immediately. The papers topic: Compare the State of Minnesota's college and professional sports fans in the year 2008 to other fans throughout the United States. No, the ghost of Jan Gangelhoff isn't allowed to help you. You may open your blue book and start now.

Continue reading "Guess Who? - Week 3" »

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Before everyone gets all panicked over Francisco Liriano's line yesterday (0.2 IP, 5 H, 6 R, 5 ER, 3 BB, 0 SO & 11.32 ERA), let's not forget the seriousness of his injury. This is a lost year for Liriano (and the Twins) and we all need to grasp that reality.

MLB: Oakland 11, Twins 2. Did you hear the Vikings signed Jared Allen?

NFL: Bet your entire paycheck, or your car, hell, bet your girlfriend or wife...the Vikings will select an offensive lineman with their second round (#16, #47 overall) pick in tomorrow's NFL draft.

Late Show: Where's the flannel, Brett?

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Daunte Culpepper was in Green Bay for an official visit yesterday. Daunte still doesn't have an agent, has never played in the west coast offense, has small hands (we always loved how Minnesota fans blamed everything on Culpepper's small hands) and just isn't any good anymore. Can you say draft subterfuge? Ted Thompson can.

MLB: Oakland 3, Twins 0. The Twins only got one extra base hit (double by Mauer) and failed to give Boof Bonser any run support...again. Meanwhile, not only did Johan Santana pitch seven innings and get the win for the Mets, he also had two doubles. Forget his arm, the Twins could use Johan's stick right about now.

Guess Who? - Minnesota's Mystery Media Member (4M). Today's Clue: He's a 2008 City Pages Best of The Twin Cities Winner. We need your help...got a great question for our Guess Who? bit? Send them to news@10000takes.com and we'll look them over.

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In today's episode, The Bird Whisperer tells us:
One longtime Twins fan is willing to bet that, at season's end, Twins rookie pitcher Nick Blackburn wil (sic) have a lower earned-run average than ex-Twins starter Johan Santana of the New York Mets.

What's the most outrageous part of the above sentence? The Bird Whisperer narrowing his source down to a longtime Twins fan, Nick Blackburn having a lower ERA than Johan Santana, or that there are actually people who pay money to have this kind of incredible sports insight "dropped" on their doorstep each day.

You're on, Bird Whisperer. We'll take the bet. If Blackburn has a lower ERA than Santana we'll never write another episode of The Adventures of Grandpa Sports and The Bird Whisperer. If Santana has a lower ERA than Blackburn you agree to get an editor. Do we have a deal?

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The Vikings acquired Pro Bowl defensive end Jared Allen from the Chiefs for a first-round pick (No. 17) and both the Vikings’ third-round picks (73rd and 82nd) in this year's NFL draft (the teams will also swap sixth-round picks). Besides giving up all the picks the Vikings will also be giving up a boat (sorry) load of money. The money is believed to be around $74 million, with just over $31 million of the Zygi dollars guarnateed. Allen will sure look nice next to the Wiliams Wall, but let's not start talking Super Bowl just yet (got that, KFAN). Too many questions remain. What will happen with B-MAC? Will Tarvaris Jackson develop into a playoff quality quarterback? Can Childress coach? Will Matt Birk's contract sitution get resolved? Are the Vikings still short a quality receiver to compete in the playoffs? Can they beat the Packers? And finally, can Allen refrain from jamming his keys into the ignition after throwing a dozen adult beverages back?

MLB: Twins 5, Oakland 4. Why did the Twins beat the A's yesterday? Bad luck; just ask A's manager Bob Geren. "We got beat by a couple of those bloop hits. Those balls were dropping in front of people. It was a little bit of bad luck."

NBA: Defensive Player of The Year: Kevin Garnett. 

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Road Trip!

Adam Everett -- whose first name isn't even Adam, it's Jeffrey -- has been placed on the 15-day DL with a "right shoulder strain." Anyone else relieved? Sweet .187 average, Jeffrey. This frees up a spot on the Twins' 25-man roster for Brian Buscher, who had a pretty decent start to his Spring.

He was in the lineup Sunday at third, while Mike Lamb moved to first so Justin Morneau could smash the ball as designated hitter. Buscher went 1-for-4 with a double, which is a start. To quote a buddy in my fantasy league, "How many *&!#%@ Nick Puntos does this team need?!"

Continue reading "The Twins Babe - Road Trip!" »

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Tequila Shots Do Not Find The Net

Continue reading "Tom's Take - Tequila Shots Do Not Find the Net" »

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Marian Gaborik failed to score a goal in all six games of the Wild's playoff series against the Avalanche. We are idiots, and Gaborik is not  a star. He's not a star, he's not a star, he's not a star. He's not a big, bright, shining star.

MLB: Twins 2, Cleveland 1. Nineteen games into the 2008 season and only three Twins have hit home runs: Morneau (5), Kubel (3) and Haris (1).

Site News: Our comments pages have gone Dimitrius Underwood on us...we're working on getting everything in order soon.

Guess Who? - Minnesota's Mystery Media Member (4M). Today's Clue: Once.

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Every week a member of the Minnesota Media will be answering one of our questions in a bit we're calling Minnesota's Mystery Media Member (4M). Here's how it works: we'll post a topic, the 4M anonymously provides a response to our topic, and you dear reader then have one week to figure out the identity of the 4M. Sounds easy enough, right? Each weekday, in The Morning Hangover, we'll give you a clue that will help you identify the 4M. When we post our next Guess Who?, we'll disclose the identity of the week's previous 4M and provide a brand new topic and anonymous 4M response. Let's get started.

Week 1's 4M?: KFAN's Corey Cove. Thanks, Sludge, for helping us kick this bit off.

Week 2 Topic: You get lost on your way to one of the troughs at a Vikes game and stumble across a genie lamp in a dark corner of the Metrodome. After exchanging pleasantries, the genie tells you that he will grant you three wishes, however, you must answer the following question first: Would you want the genie to go back in time and exchange the Vikings franchise for the Green Bay Packers franchise. The genie would swap everything: team location, fans, traditions, records, facilities, players, etc., and nobody would ever know it happened. What would you tell the genie, and why?

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NHL: Colorado 3, Wild 2. Beaten by a hot goalie...that's hockey.

MLB: Tampa Bay 7, Twins 3. We want the fat Boof back, and we want him back now.

NFL: Vikings in trade talks with Chiefs for defensive end Jared Allen who led the NFL in sacks last season. More material for our Walk the Line and McHale Express bits, ya for us.

In other Vikings news, the Packers will retire Brett Favre's #4 on Monday September 8th when the Vikes visit Lambeau to open the season.

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Every Thursday Occasionally, longtime Twin Cities television sports anchor Jeff Grayson shares with you what's on his mind regarding current issues happening in Minnesota Sports. In addition to his television anchor duties, Jeff has also worked with the Vikings, the Minnesota Wild (Call of The Wild host) and the Minnesota Timberwolves (Wolves Vision host). Enjoy Jeff's takes, and we'll see you in The Grayzone.

Kobe Is MVP

I cover the Milwaukee Bucks for FSN Wisconsin and recently was part of a debate with our announcing crew about who should be the NBA’s MVP this year.

I don’t really think there are wrong answers here. One on-air person said LeBron; another emphatically says KG; another leans towards Chris Paul, I think. They are all worthy of winning the trophy.

Me? I gotta go with Kobe Bryant.

Supposed experts say that a vote (which I don’t have, by the way) is a vote for Kobe’s career—a lifetime achievement award, so to speak—more than for his play this season. I say, forget his career; he’s having a great year! Has anyone really studied what he’s done in 2007-‘08?

Continue reading "The Grayzone - Kobe Is MVP" »

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NBA: Timberwolves 110, Milwauke 101, OT. For the first time in a very, very long time we are proud of Glen Taylor and the Timberwolves. Instead of having Mark Madsen jack up 3-pointers and cutting KG’s minutes at the end of the season so he would decide to shut it down (yes, that’s what your team was doing last year, Glen), the Wolves played it straight and didn’t tank against the Milwaukee Bucks yesterday. Sure, the Wolves could have clinched the third-worst record in the NBA with a loss, but Taylor was true to his word and decided that playing their best ball down the stretch was the right decision to make. And we agree 100%. Every team that blatantly tanks games diminishes the reputation of their franchise. While we don’t tend to put much stock in karma, we wouldn’t be surprised if this was the year the Wolves actually got lucky and moved up in the NBA Draft Lottery. Winning and classy organizations do all the small things the right way. Fixing the annual season-ending tanking ritual was a nice first step for the Wolves. Well done, Glen!

MLB: Twins 6, Tampa Bay 5. Thank you, Carl Crawford. The check is in the mail.  

Guess Who? - Minnesota's Mystery Media Member (4M): Today's Clue: This week's 4M's Native American name would be: Star Hawk Lake.

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Liriano: A Three-Part Miniseries

Pregame: I need more coffee. Who decided to schedule Liriano's debut, the 2008 Masters, Wild playoffs and a good friend's birthday on the same weekend? That guy is fired.

So, I'm sitting here at my kitchen table on Sunday morning, sobering up and highly anticipating the return of Francisco Liriano. You can call him Frankie if you want, but I'm totally still calling him Franchise. Sure, he needed 88 pitches to get through four innings last Tuesday. Yes, he has a 7.56 ERA over two AAA starts. The grumpy, sleep-deprived pessimist in me feels like if he can't put down minor leaguers, how the hell is he supposed to survive major leaguers? I'm not going to say I wasn't disappointed, but that doesn't mean I've given up all hope. The optimist in me says, we all have bad days. He may have walked three, but he also struck out three! (nervous chuckle)

Continue reading "The Twins Babe - Liriano: A Three-Part Miniseries" »

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We hope you're not a degenerate gambler and had money on any of the home teams last night. If you did you can always cry on The Morning Hangover Girl's shoulder. That's what she's here for, kids...You're welcome.

NHL: Colorado 5, Wild 1. First, Mark Kiszia and now Adrian Dater. These Denver Post guys will not only whine and cry after a loss but they'll also do it after a win. Amazing!

MLB: Detroit 6, Twins 5. The killer: the bullpen, with a glove and ball, in the eighth inning...again.

NBA: Detroit 115, Timberwolves 103. Who knew a meaningless late season game could make everyone so happy. Flipnosis gets the W and bragging rights over Taylor and McHale and the Wolves get beat and don't lose ping pong balls in NBA Draft Lottery.

Guess Who? - Minnesota's Mystery Media Member (4M): Today's Clue: "There's no doubt" as to the identity of our first Minnesota Mystery Media Member.

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Every week a member of the Minnesota Media will be answering one of our questions in a bit we're calling Minnesota's Mystery Media Member (4M). Here's how it works: we'll post a topic, the 4M anonymously provides a response to our topic, and you dear reader then have one week to figure out the identity of the 4M. Sounds easy enough, right? Each weekday, in The Morning Hangover, we'll give you a clue that will help you identify the 4M. When we post our next Guess Who?, we'll disclose the identity of the week's previous 4M and provide a brand new topic and anonymous 4M response. Let's get started.

Topic: You are elected Governor of Minnesota. Your supermodel wife hates sports and tells you that you must eliminate three of the four major sports (Vikings, Twins, Timberwolves and Wild) in the state. She's worth the sacrifice. What teams do you eliminate? Why?

Minnesota's Mystery Media Member's response:  If I had to eliminate three of the four pro sports teams in this market I would ditch the Wild, Twins and Timberwolves. Although the Timberwolves are the team I bleed for the most, the sports market would be worthless without the NFL. Forget who the players, owners and coaches are, if this town lacked the NFL we'd quickly become Des Moines or Boise. No one wants to be those towns. No one. Look at it like this, as much as it would suck to lose the Wild, Twins or Wolves, their absences would pale in comparison to the boredom that would sink in on Autumn Sunday afternoons. Also, the NFL Draft is one of the most exciting things that occurs in the sporting year, as pathetic as that may be. What would the NFL Draft be without a team to care about? Ask Omaha. I don't want to live in Omaha. Vikings stay. The other squads are ghost like Swayze.

Who's the Minnesota Mystery Media Member? The answer won't be revealed until next week, so until then you'll just have to post your guesses in the comments section. Here's your first clue regarding the 4M's identity: April 29, 2003 - January 29, 2007.

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A couple of quick statements before we comment on the two Minneapolis Police officers who were involved in Carl Eller's latest run with police. (1) After pleading guilty to DWI in March 2006 and allegedly driving intoxicated again early Wednesday, Eller needs serious help and shouldn't be able to drive a motor vehicle anytime soon. (2) Fighting cops? What the hell is wrong with you, Carl? (3) Threatening to be killed, getting punched, having the prongs ripped out of your Taser gun and being thrown onto the hood of a vehicle would make us wet our pants. No police officer should be treated this way.

To recap: Police Officers good, Carl Eller bad.

Here's were the two officers (or more likely Inspector Mike Martin who talked to the media about the incident) lose us.

"These officers are crushed," Martin said. "This is a guy who was a hero to many of the officers in this department."

POLICE: Carl Eller threatened to kill officers [5 Eyewitness News]

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MLB: Twins vs. White Sox, Rainout. The Twins need to bring Francisco Liriano up and be done with it.

Site News: We have two more posts today and then we're out of here until Tuesday. Vegas, baby! Vegas!

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We're naming the St. Paul Saints pig Grandpa Snorts. Any of you geniuses have a problem with that? 

Name The Pig Contest [St. Paul Saints]

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NHL: Colorado 3, Wild 2, OT. The Wild were done by Joe Sakic with 8:49 left in overtime. Jacques Lemaire: "[Sheppard] just kept following up. They send the puck to the net. Two-on-one, they get the rebound. In playoffs, details are huge. We're facing a team that knows all about that." The over/under on how many times Lemaire says the word "details" or "it's the little things" to the lads in the next two days: 48 (that would be roughly once per hour).

MLB: Twins 12, White Sox 5. "That's a scrappy team over there," Danks said. "They are good. They don't get enough credit for how good they are. I thought I made some good pitches, but they are professional hitters and they found holes." Professional hitters? That's like saying the fat girl at your school or office has a really great personality.

NBA: New Orleans 122, Timberwolves 90. Beside Al "The Needle" Jefferson and possibly Ryan Gomes, name another Timberwolves player who has improved their game since last season that you are excited to have on the team next year?...We're waiting...

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Is Nick Blackburn The New Joe Mauer?

Continue reading "The Twins Babe - Is Nick Blackburn The New Joe Mauer?" »

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The Twins will be serving up Walleye Tacos at their new ballpark in 2010. Yummy. Not good news for walleyes, but fantastic news for our stomach. The other added benefit of serving fish at the new stadium: if the Twins stink it up on the field, they can blame it on their smelly new friend the walleye. Did you happen to see who was first in line getting his grub on for the little Twins/Delaware North Companies Sportservice wingdig for the media to announce the new new food vendor? If you said the Morning Hangover Guy Girl or Grandpa Sports you would be correct. Hey, Grandpa Sports, is that Walleye on your tie?

NBA: Charlotte 121, Timberwolves 119. The Needle had 40 points and 10 rebounds.

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"Rock, Chalk...Annoying as Hell"

The chant was first adopted by the university's science club in 1886. Chemistry professor E.H.S. Bailey and his colleagues were returning by train to Lawrence after a conference. During their travel, they discussed a need of a rousing yell. They came up with "Rah, Rah, Jayhawk, KU", repeated three times. "Rock Chalk"—a transposition of chalk rock, a mineral that exists in western Kansas and similar to the coccolith found in the white cliffs of Dover—later replaced the two "rahs", after an English professor's suggestion.

So now we know all that. And that’s just fricken ridiculous.

Continue reading "Tom's Take - "Rock, Chalk...Annoying As Hell"" »

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Wild: Minnesota Wild defenseman Nick Schultz suffered a partially ruptured appendix and will miss the first round of the playoffs after undergoing an appendectomy Monday night. Now that Schultz is out it's going to be a rocky road for both Schultz and the Wild. Schultz will be eating rocky road...ice cream (we understand that Schultz didn't have a tonsillectomy, but who can pass up delicious ice cream while they're in the hospital recovering) and it will be an even rockier road for the Wild without their most reliable defenseman.

MLB: White Sox 7, Twins 4. The Twins lost on a broken-bat grand slam by Joe Crede off Pat Neshek in the seventh inning. You know what will make you feel better, Pat? Rocky road ice cream!

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Allegedly, this is an interview of Kevin McHale after the finish of an Adriatic league playoff game between Cibona Zagreb and Partizan Belgrade in March. However, if you told us it was McHale being interviewed in a Minneapolis warehouse (staged to be a basketball court) by Fred Hoiberg after Freddy listened to a few Rosetta Stone cd's, we'd believe that too.

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A couple of weeks ago we introduced you to FSN North's Trenni Kusnierek (pictured in tank top and scarf).  We've recently learned that not only does Trenni like hot pink and shorty, short jackets, she's also a fan of the dance.

More pictures after the jump.

Continue reading "Dancing With Trenni Kusnierek" »

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We applaud the Minnesota Senate for killing the latest proposed Vikings study, but part of us wishes they would have approved the thing so we wouldn't have to hear Lester Bagley and his whinning for awhile. "At some point, state leaders have to engage in problem-solving to solve this issue," Bagley said. "The Vikings have 40 games left on their lease. We have our sleeves rolled up, but we need others to do their part, and in due time." Bagley had no idea that being "Chief Beggar" would be such hard work.

MLB: LA Angels 1, Twins 0. We've always been a fan of the Mark Prior-like tall, upright delivery that Nick Blackburn displayed in his first Major League start. That style has always looked intimidating to us.

NBA: Utah 117, Timberwolves 100. Should we have Mexican or Chinese for lunch today? We're leaning towards Chinese.

Vikings Part I: Vikings sign Gus Frerotte. We hear Gus was so happy to be back with the Vikings, he headbutted a wall.

Vikings Part II: Rick Spielman's contract extended. Long live the Triange of Authority.

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Welcome back to detention, Kevin McHale! While McHale hasn't actually committed the crime yet, we've decided to throw the Wolves "Leader" into detention in order to help save Marko Jaric and all the other former Timber Puppy's who were signed to a free agent contract by McHale.  We've learned that McHale would like nothing more than to wipe out any free agent evidence that helped contribute to the failure that was the Garnett years.

Tip to a certain New Orleans guard that doesn't know what he does bad: watch your back on April 9th, Mike James. McHale's got an itchy trigger finger, a stadium (with KG gone, the seating area is a great place to store extra junk) full of t-shirts, and no fishing trip scheduled for the rest of the season. The odds aren't in your favor.

Bull's-eyes on their backs - Garnett and Posey targeted by mascot [The Boston Globe]

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Who's That Scrawny Dude On The Hill

Continue reading "The Twins Babe - Who's That Scrawny Dude On The Hill" »

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With Flipnosis back in town yesterday, it got us wondering if Detroit Piston's GM Joe Dumars would pull the plug on Flip if the Pistons fail to advance to NBA Eastern Conferene Finals. We say...yes.

MLB: LA Angels 9, Twins 1. Beaten by a circular or spiral arrangement of intertwined material. Yuck.

NBA: Detroit 94, Timberwolves 90. All-Stars Rasheed Wallace, Chauncey Billups and Richard Hamilton were given the night off to rest. Something called Rodney Stuckey went off for a career-high 27 points. Yep, Flipnosis just gave McHale and Taylor the "I don't even need to play my starters and we can beat you" finger. Good times.

Vikings: Adrian Peterson will never be thirsty again.

Big Ten Hoops: Tom Crean leaves Marquette for IU.

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